A wife of noble character who can find?...She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue...Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:10, 26 & 28

Monday, June 2, 2008

On children

I just wanted to get this off my chest so bear with me while I rant a little.

The other night I was chatting to someone I know. There's no need for names, I still love this person but boy did she get to me. I was asked if I was going to have more children. I hear this all the time and most of the time I say: 'We'll see.' It's just the easiest answer I've found, something so noncommittal seems to appease everyone and as I get asked this over and over again and it's really no-one else's business....Anyway, I said that this time and instead of backing off this person, with only 2 children, says: 'Are you serious?'. I said I was and told her a few of the main reasons why....

When I only had 4 children I viewed my children pretty much the same way as the world sees them, you need to have some but your real life is with work, husband and friends and you try and make your children fit into that. They can be a real pain in the neck, I used to think and even though I knew that the bible said they are a blessing I never really felt it in my heart. When number 4 was about 4 years old God started to speak into my heart and I felt that we were doing our children a disservice and I started to see them for the blessings they really were. But something else, I realised just how precious our children are in Gods eyes and that He made us to have lots, yes He did. He doesn't get things wrong. There was no "Oops, I forgot to make their bodies so that they only have 3 kids!", there was no "Oh, no, I wonder how they're going to fit on this planet in..... generations?". He said: Go forth and multiply.

Another thing is that we stand in church, crying out for God's blessings but reject the ones he wants to give us by limiting the amount of children we have. Now I know this is controversial and I don't have the answers for if you risk your life in childbirth or you can't have kids, but I'm not trying to force my opinions on anyone else but myself. But if I'm asked what I believe then I will tell that person. She said, "Don't be offended, but....." along the lines of that we need to be responsible and make sure that we can feed and clothe our children and provide for them properly, without the aid of Centrelink. She works 35 hours a week and has 2 jobs, which I don't have a problem with. But thinking that I could possibly have my say seeing as I let her have hers I said that I wasn't offended but I thought differently. Yes we need to be responsible but our society has been set up with the destruction of the family at the very heart and that it was a crime that she had to go out to work at 2 jobs to make ends meet. (I didn't say she was committing a crime). I also said that I felt that I was neglecting the well being of my family by going out to work. I didn't say she was neglecting her family, and I'm not just speaking out my arse (pardon the slang), I've been there and tried to work with 4 children and had a breakdown because I felt guilty the whole 7 weeks I was there. Well that was it, she got offended at me! I wasn't allowed to get offended when she basically called me irresponsible but she was allowed to get offended at me when I tried to have my say too.

I ended the conversation pretty quick after that. It was late and I was tired and didn't want to get into it, but it has been bugging me. I know people don't agree with what I believe and I don't agree with what they believe but common decency says that if you're allowed to have your say isn't it fair to let the other person have theirs too?


myheartsathome said...

Well I don't think you are odd at all - I think big families are fantastic, I am 'quiver full' minded as well, as you have probably have guessed, so there are some of us out there, you just need to search a little to find them.

Keep those baby's coming, I say!


Becca said...

Thanks Mel,

I have guessed. I'm praying you find someone of like mind too.